A Poem

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You told me that in this world you have to leave an impact
Leave an imprint
Leave something behind that helps
But you calling me skinny, calling me no life, calling me anything
Turns out,

You were the one who left an impact

You told me that a man has to dig his own grave and lay in it
You never let me lay in it
You would always catch me before the “if you can”
Never letting me breath
You emitted pressure that you never saw but I could feel
You would be outside of my shoes
And tell me how to step in them

You would walk all over me

You’d never ask me for help
But you always asked me what was wrong

“Why won’t you show emotion?”

“Why don’t you act like you care about anything”

“Why won’t you smile more often”
Thinking I had a problem
Knowing I had a problem
But you were too ashamed to say
That it might actually be your problem

that I didn’t smile more often

You told me it’s better to stay here than leave
I believed you sadly and I listened
You trapped me in my own home
Home, people say, is where your family is
But what do call a home where the family isn’t anymore
Would you call a cage a home
My dog thinks it is when it sleeps
And my dog also knows it’s a cage when it’s in trouble
For years I felt in trouble
For years you yelled at me
For years I took it

Put my tail between my legs

And sulked back to my cage

I used to be so outgoing
My personal bubble used to stretch so wide
But now it’s smaller than my cage

And I can’t, Can’t breathe anymore

You told me it aint broken don’t fix
You thought I was broken and I can be fixed over time
But I was never broken nor fixed
I was defective when I came out because you helped build me
I was the stone you would refuse
You kept on putting pressure on me
And you know where to apply force

Putting more and more pressure on the bubbles until I finally exploded
And when bubbles explode they make noise
And my bubble did

And My noise was loud
Louder than all the yelling
skinny, no life, irresponsible, disappointing, disrespectful
Unlike you, I hadn’t used my voice for a while so it was resting and gaining strength

While yours was dying down
And your throat was starting to cave
You need to take a break
You need a rest

While you’re taking a break
Imma leave
I’m going to unlock my cage
I’m going to leave it a mess that you have to clean up
I’m going to find out why you caged me

But it won’t really matter

I will just use the information to make sure I build myself up better next time
Imma dig my grave and  jump in it

I’m finally going to start to live

 

 

Poem submitted by, Carlos Ramos, a high school student in Kansas City.